The Secret to Being Attractive
The Holy Grail, the secret to being attractive… The fact is, attracting women and people in general is a skill. And as with all skills it must be honed, practiced, refined, and tempered. No one learns complex skills just by reading a book. No-one learns how to do a roundhouse kick just by listening to their teacher. People don’t just magically improve their cooking level just by letting good food rot in the fridge. Musicians don’t learn the piano by looking at a diagram. You get the idea… Go to our Dating Experts Reveal All page for a huge amount of excellent information on this topic..
A person has to actually get out there and do it, fail, and then try again. And again. Absolutely no-one is born knowing the secret to being attractive. And of course, it sucks to fail. Heck, it sucks to try something you expect to fail, then fail, and then go I told you so to your own brain. A chef does not become recognized without destroying good food along the way. Shakespeare did not pop out of his mother, miraculously knowing English, and writing Romeo and Juliet at the tender age of 30 seconds. Everything has to be learned and earned in this life. And everything has to start with the basics.
Ignore genders for a moment. Just think about humans. Humans are attracted to similar qualities, and repulsed by others, whether men or women.
Positive traits – you are funny, approachable, and polite
Negative traits – Bad hygiene, rude, insulting, and disrespectful
Regardless of gender, humans like these positive traits in other humans, regardless of male or females. Males like other males who are agreeable (Which doesn’t necessarily mean they want to be intimate of course); and the same applies for female/female relationships and friendships.
The Secret to being Attractive and Successful
This article isn’t about selling something. I could start off with a story, describing myself as an anti-hero that everyone can secretly relate to, bond with the most vulnerable side of your mind, and make you give me money. I don’t have time for that junk. I’ll just get right to the point. In fact, I’m already there: the secret is trial and error. Ta-da. It’s terrifying, it’s stupid, and it’s nigh self-destructive. But it actually is the best shortcut. You think NBA players have 90% free throw averages without tossing millions and millions of balls at the hoop? Nope, they jut practice and accept the failures along the way as learning experiences which make them better. The most successful people in life are the ones who have not given up when they failed but just got back up and examined their mistakes then changed their approach and tried again..
When you grow older and look back at yourself and the memories that you and only you have, you realize that you could kick yourself. Could’ve done that differently; shouldn’t have done that at all. Experience is the best teacher, albeit not the nicest. With experience comes maturity. Maturity is the idea of being able to respond to the environment in an appropriate manner. Given that appropriate is usually being in control and not losing it emotionally we can synonymously tie ‘maturity’ with ‘being in control of ourselves and our emotions. Think about a joke. It’s funny the first time you hear it, often the second time too, occasionally the third. Maybe even the fourth time a year later. But after hearing it over and over again you acknowledge the joke but don’t respond to it. That’s maturity. It’s the process of learning and gaining experience through practice and repetition until it’s embedded in your psyche.
The first rejection by a girl sucks. It does. It destroys your mentality and it feels like the pieces won’t be put back together. But by the tenth or twentieth time it just becomes a ‘meh’ feeling. Once you have been turned down, for real, a total of 10+ times; ten real moments of rejection that you didn’t expect then you start to develop an immunity and somehow that the 11th tme isn’t going to be so bad. Because by the tenth time you really start to realize how big the world is. You start to adjust, grow, and adapt. You become more realistic and realize that some things aren’t meant to be.
How to be Attractive
What makes a man attractive (attractive, not the most attractive, be realistic), is that he is in control of himself. Who is more appealing, the guy who loses a ball game with a handshake, or the dick that throws the ball onto the road? Grace in defeat is maturity. No one likes it, but no one has to let defeat get to them. Have a good look at our superb guest post 21 Steps to Becoming an Alpha Male for a ton of excellent information on turning yourself into a man women will beg to be with. Granted, who has the time for trial and error? It is a long process and we all need to work and provide for ourselves. True, but that’s where the human part comes in. No one is an island. Regardless of what you do for a living I guarantee that you would have to have some level of communication with another human being, even via phone and email If you are male, increasing your communication and rapport skills with another man will increase your communication and rapport skills with another woman as well. Why not? Easy going, chatty, respectful…. Those are qualities that make all humans gravitate towards you. So broaden your horizons and keep working on your overall communication skills with everyone around you. The more relaxed and confident you are in talking with men, older women, people in shops, anyone and everyone, then when you come to talk to that little hottie you’ve had your eye on it will seem so much easier. Check out our article Secrets of Speed Seduction for much more information on how to get into the zone and radiate confidence in all your conversations, dates and interactions with ladies.